Oh, Comcast...

The first thing I noticed when I finally got settled in here at TESC was that I can't live without high speed internet. I know that sounds pathetic, but in this age - when we're all addicted to technology (and as a child who grew up on computers) - I think it's perfectly fair. And frustrating. Especially since Evergreen is too remotely located for any decent network that doesn't cost the school thousands of dollars a year. So, we use something called ResNet. They're local, and they're slow, but they're also very helpful. More helpful than Comcast, anyway.

But in spite of that, I decided to sign up for their high speed internet. Because we already get all of our cable TV from ComcastNW on campus, it should have been easy to get internet as well. But Comcast likes to make things difficult - or at least they appreciate a good deal of irony.

So, I start the process at comcast.com, and everything's going fine. I figure out all the information I need, and fill out all the forms, but then I'm sent to a live chat with a woman or bot named Rhonnarey. I start confirming information, she all the while neglecting the punctuation keys, and then the ResNet server, like it does several times a day, decides to crap out. I waited a good ten minutes before calling them in.

Another problem with Evergreen's location is there is no reception in the dorms. In order to call Comcast, then, I have to step outside in my pajamas and hope that they don't need me to look at my computer. When I finally spoke to a customer service specialist, however, it turns out I could just stand outside in the fifty degree weather, awkwardly smiling at all the other students who walked by. But it's okay because it shouldn't take too long, right?

Wrong.

The minute I tell the guy what I want, he says, "Well, usually, you have to sign up for those things online..."

I just want to say here that doesn't make any fucking sense to sign up for internet over the internet. Sorry, but it's just entirely illogical. I mean, sure, it's nice to have the option of using the internet to sign up, but it only makes sense to allow users to sign up over the telephone. Silly, silly Comcast.

In any case, after a few minutes of negotiations, however, we (myself and my specialist) were able to work it out. So, in three to five days, I'll have my modem and fifteen days after that, I'll have quite a hefty bill because even self-installation has a fee that goes along with it.

I just wish I could tell Comcast that though irony is at times very amusing, poignant, and evocative, it is not at all funny when you're trying to set up an internet connection. It's just too bad Verizon doesn't actually serve mountainous terrains in the middle of - essentially - nowhere.