Separatism

Nearly halfway through my second quarter, I am beginning to settle in to the college routine. I've found a fine balance between work and play, which is excellent. I'm doing well in school and I love it, and my friends and I are comfortable in our relationships. But despite all the good, there is still quite a bit of controversy to deal with.

As you may or may not expect, Evergreen (and Olympia) is filled with queer separatists. It's an environment relatively new to me, as the attitude back home was much more relaxed. The trouble is that some of these folks have become good friends of mine over the last few months, and some of my good friends have become favorably disposed towards the mindset - and it's causing a lot of drama.

Unfortunately, it all centers around sexuality. A few of my friends and I have decided to move out as soon as is feasible because we've suddenly found ourselves in this hostile separatist environment. Sure, I understand the motivations and emotions behind the hatred towards the straight-identified community, but it demonizes not just the target "demographic," but also anyLGBTQ person who disagrees. I've felt rifts growing between some of my closest friends because of this.

Just to avoid being vague, I am not a separatist. I don't think words like "breeder" or obsessive labeling are okay. I mean, what the hell, if my parents (or one of them) hadn't been breeders, I wouldn't be here. And my "straight-identified" parents are fucking wonderful. My "straight-identified" friends are wonderful. And they didn't determine their sexuality any more than the LGBT folk did, and they didn't create the cultural stigma we all have to deal with. And what's worse than hating on my  straight peeps is the accosting of my not-entirely-gay ones. 

A couple of the loveliest women I've ever met in my life currently feel uncomfortable in their living situation because they're both in relationships with men. One woman even identifies as a lesbian. She's got it the worst because she's not a real queer, right? But straight women have been dating gay women forever, so who's to say we can reduce sexuality to something that can be defined as simply as that? We've got some pretty complicated DNA, so how can anything about us truly be that simple?

I have to say, however, that some of the people I'm specifically targeting in here are really great, and I mean that. They're intelligent, thoughtful, caring, and brave. But they're angry. So I understand, but I wish it could be different. I don't want to lose close friends because I can't feel comfortable in my own ambiguous sexuality. But I suppose that's the nature of the beast.

On that note, I hope y'all are  embracing the complexity within you and enjoying your lives!

Peace&love

A Theist

So, my strange, strange neighbors in the apartment to the right and above ours invited Simon, who's staying with me for the weekend, my dear friend Curran, and myself to smoke hookah with them. I like their roommates (Fox and Elissa), but I always found the spiritually married couple who live there too very odd. But we decided to go, and we did have a really good time, but we certainly had some weird conversations.

Our topics ranged from sexuality (in which they covertly insulted one of my close lesbian friends) to spirituality (in which they openly insulted myself and my sensibilities). At one point, as we were discussing what religion means to the individual, Kevin said,

"Take apart atheist, and you get a-theist. A theist. That implies that there's just a journey to find God. That's what atheists are, and that's what I am." Elizabeth agreed. Needless to say, when I tried to explain that a- was a negative beginning, meaning no god, they rebutted with the same fucking argument they started with. Which makes no sense.

In essence, both of them called themselves atheists but were really theists. I was mad for about ten minutes, and then I just realized that the stupidity behind their logic was so irreversible (as they had done a great deal of thinking on the subject) that there was really no point in fighting it.

But at least they aren't fundamentalists.

Home again, home again...

I'm finally back in Olympia. Visiting Edmonds was great, don't get me wrong - but I'd forgotten how much I love it here. I spent the last day organizing my books (I just received ten for next quarter in the mail and I brought several more down with me from break), CDs, movies, papers, clothes, shoes, scarves, and many other things, and now I am finally settled in my apartment. I also spent a good amount of time revamping my Russian so I can have a decent start on Tuesday when classes pick up again.

The best part of being back, though, is that I have my Greener family again. Almost. A majority of them are still gone, but the few who I've gotten to see have greatly increased my happiness. I'm really glad to be home. 

Next quarter is Russian  literature studies, so I feel that the next few months will be much more exciting than the last few - though I did love the history. We'll be reading a different book a week, from Dostoevskii's Notes from the Underground to Turgenev's Fathers and Sons, and all the way back to Pushkin and The Queen of Spades. 

On the other hand, I lost the ten hours a week I had at the Child Care Center due to the change, so I'm once again financially unstable. I do have all my tuition and housing paid for, but I'm hoping to find another job to cover travel expenses and any other non-school related purchases. 

So this feels like a real new beginning. I'm essentially jobless, but I've got the coolest class coming up. Hopefully I'll have more time for weight-training with Clint.

Hope all is well with everyone. Happy late new year!

Peace

A new year

So, it is the first day in the Gregorian calendar 2009, as you may know, but tonight is no different than any other night except the fireworks.  We have entered a new year. I feel like I should have resolutions simply for tonight, but everything I have decided to do for the upcoming months was decided weeks ago. I will do even better in school, I will spend more time discovering myself (cheesy, I know), and I will dedicate myself to something greater than my own personal gains. I am glad for January because it means a quarter of Russian literature studies, but really, I feel no different. But I hope that everyone is enjoying the night and finding in themselves a drive to do better that will last them beyond a few weeks. Don't let yourself down; don't forget the promises you make to yourself; take yourself seriously.

And with that, I say good night and good luck.